Memories from family & friends of John Mather
Nephew - James Alexander
When I was about 8 or 9 we were staying in Dawlish and he took me out to get candy. There was this huge pick and mix section there and off I went to pick some out. Three times he sent me back to get more as he told me I didn’t get enough. I remember coming back to my parents and their eyes growing massive when they saw the size of my bag. This was just the type of person he was. He spoiled me rotten more times that I can remember. His generosity was second to none. When I was 11 I visited Bowie for the first time. We sat in the front room watching Top Gun. I still think of him every single time I watch the movie and I watch it every time I find it on, because of this memory. What more can you want from a movie. Heart pounding adrenaline flowing combined with patriotism, fighting Russian Mig’s right around the time the Cold War ended, with your cool uncle John.
Friend - Megan Kelly
My name is Megan and I was a friend of your dads. I am so sad to hear of his passing. I thought a quick story of how I met him might bring a smile to you during these somber times. About five years ago I sat next to him on a flight home to Nashville after visiting a friend in Houston. I was 26 at the time, and to be honest had very little interest in chit chatting with the older man sitting next to me. I pulled out my laptop and started working. At the time I was working for a Nashville nonprofit called the Nashville Dolphins and had a Nashville Dolphins sticker on my laptop. He inquired about the Nashville Dolphins and we then proceeded to chat the entire flight. He loved the mission of the organization and was so excited to brainstorm ways he could help us out. (The organization provides free swim programs to children and adults with disabilities). He told me all about the Churchill society and how I must become a member. I literally knew not a single thing about Winston Churchill. He then insisted on giving me a ride home from the airport when I told him I’d be taking an Uber. I was slightly worried about hopping into a car with a stranger but fortunately he didn’t turn out to be a serial killer! The next day he called me with multiple contacts he wanted to get me in touch with for the Dolphins and ended up helping secure free pool space for us to expand our programs into Williamson county. I joined the Churchill society and he always made a point to give me a platform in front of the group to talk about the organization. I gave him a Dolphins bumper sticker and after getting into a fender bender he called me and asked for another one because his bumper had to be replaced and he wanted to continue to show his support for the organization! He was a friend to everyone and I’m so thankful I got to meet him! I won a silly statue of Winston Churchill at one of the events and my husband thinks it’s so bizarre that I have it displayed in our house, (still couldn’t tell you much about Winston Churchill) but I use it as a reminder to get out of my comfort zone (which I very much was at every Churchill society event) because you never know who you might meet! I will now remember your dad as well when I see that statue!
Schoolmate - Eric Schlesinger
I was at John Lyon School (then The Lower School of John Lyon) from 1956-1963. In 1960 i somehow got it into my head that Outward Bound was something I should have a serious look at. Boyd-Campbell was keen on it as well as the Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme. I was an insecure, self-conscious student who felt marginal and largely unsupported. The fact that I was of immigrant/refugee parents from Europe didn't help - both in my family life and at school (tough to say but there was anti German sentiment and lower down other views). There was also bullying - I got it. It was in plain view and nothing was done by fellow pupils or by masters. The bullying dropped away by the sheer good fortune that the toe rag was so useless that he was withdrawn from school in year 2. Enough of that - JLS had remnants of the ugly past of public schools) Looking back, I think I was dimly aware I had to break out and find myself. OB seemed different, indeed alien. Could this be something I was looking for? I knew that some pupils had gone on it - I recognized the distinctive circular blue and silver badge. One monitor started to wear it - Mather. Now my attitude to monitors and prefects was that they were remote, so if they didn't talk to you except to warn or criticize, then I wasn't going to talk to them. Especially monitors. Your brother used to stand by one of the large swing doors in the Main Hall. After the morning congregation the doors were swung open and we swarmed out to the first lesson of the day. Your brother opened the door that 5th formers used. Suddenly i found myself in front of him, pointing at the OB badge and saying "What was it like?" Immediately a warm easy smile and the following : "Terrific, the best thing I have ever done. Just go and do it, you wont regret it" That was it. A few days (weeks?) later I asked my parents if I could go on OB. The reaction was one of instant refusal from my mother ( I now know why). So for the first time in my ,life I fought back with a mixture of anger, fear and tears. Eventually my father said perhaps I should go to the headmaster and see what he thought. So I did and B-C looked at me and said "Why?" I had learnt something powerful a few days before, and now another moment of revelation. From somewhere came the words "Because i think it will do me good" When B-C smiled he was a different man and he said I will do it after O levels, get a bursary, and get my father to write a letter I did OB in August 1961 - Dartmoor. I hated the first two weeks. I was the frightened mummy's boy I had learnt to be. My half term review pulled no punches and the evidence was laid in front of me. Said the Warden - "Eric if you carry on like this, there's no point you being here". I stumbled out, wishing to die. You go one of two ways - up or down. Leaving early (failing) would have delighted my mother and infuriated B-C. Whatever, I took the high road and got stuck in. I wasn't going to let habit rule intention. Its a tough adventure training experience and I came through thoroughly enjoying it and with a pretty good report. It gave me confidence ,a realistic sense of my abilities ( a lot better than I credited my self),a fascination with how people behaved, a sense of possibility, a lifelong love of hiking - and above all, the notion of setting goals And i achieved them at school. House colours, prefect, football and cricket colours, sergeant in the CCF, school plays, swept the board with Speech Day prizes - and not putting up with some of the clowns still around in the 6th form. I was the only person in my Arts year to get to university. I could go on. I am convinced that OB was a turning point for me. I enjoyed my last two years at school, got accepted, found my stride, turned potential into performance. And laid a basis for my career - social sciences in training and development. Without OB, would I have achieved that? I doubt it. I was impelled into experience and learnt that we can all be optimistic about human nature when it LEARNS. And i still have my badge and know exactly where it is. I'm very proud of it So back to your brother. Those words he spoke in 1960 are exactly what he said. And it was the way he said them too. Rare warmth and ease. An open and positive man. Would I have gone into the fire of fighting my parents for what I wanted? Very probably not. John wouldn't have remembered that conversation (who knows?) and I doubt he knew my name. I wish I could have met him and told this direct. So this is the next best thing and I trust this vignette will commemorate his life. The last photo of him is the same as the young man I recall. That cant be said of many.